Love the Way You Lie … or do I?

I am currently writing a new argument in my book while I listen to the clean version of Eminem and Rihanna’s “Love The Way You Lie”.

I can identify with that song. Perhaps it’s because the cycle of abuse that took part for so long in my life with my husband.

A spiral of love, hate. Loathing. Desire. Highs. Lows. Ecstasy. Despair.


A treadmill that led to exhaustion and despair.

Why did I so much want to love the way my partner lied?

Why was I so desperate to believe everything that came out of his mouth?

What was the attraction?



Finding my worth in other peoples’ opinions of me.

                                                                        Craving acceptance.     

Wanting desperately to be loved.

It took me quite some time before I realised that nobody except for God alone was going to fill any of those needs.

Years before I realised the lies I was believing.

Found security in God’s arms.

Unconditional love.

Unlimited acceptance.

And yet, a part of me whispers “it’s not enough.” A part of me wants the giddy rush of adrenaline from a knock down-drag em out fight. A part of me wants to be back there, mired in the muck. A part of me wants to believe a lie.

No need to shake your head. I’m already doing it on my behalf.

What is the attraction?

At its core: rebellion.

A ‘I don’t need you, God. I can handle my life on my own’ attitude.

Which only amplifies my need of a Saviour. Highlights in fluro yellow how unable I am to help myself.

So, do I love the way you lie? The way the devil lies to me?


Instead, I choose to claim God’s promises to me. Stand firm on His word. Trust Him. Love Him. Love truth.

What about you? Are there any lies in your past that you were shackled to? What realizations did you come to about unhealthy relationships?

I’d love to hear from you, and, if you feel comfortable to pray for anything you’d like to share–either through the About Me tab or in the comments.

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How much is too much?

Do you ever feel like sometimes there is just too much on your plate? Hungry little hands grabbing for a piece of you that you can’t spare. Too much to do and not enough time? One demand on top of another, all needing to be done yesterday…

I’ve had days like that. If I’m honest, I’ve had years like that. Worries and cares in my life pulled at me and stretched me thinner and thinner (physiologically, not physically!) until deep dark issues could be seen poking through my coping abilities.

I’d like to say I said a magic prayer and all my worries went away, my cares vanished and my burdens disappeared instantly. But it didn’t.


Imagine, if you will, that the burden you carry, that I carry, is a giant sack of rocks. Heavy rocks in a rough hessian sack slung over my shoulder. I can’t rest. I can’t set it down. No, onwards I am urged. To greater heights. To lower depths…

And then– I read a truth in God’s word. You know the kind that makes you sit and listen. The kind of truth that resonates. A prick in your spirit that makes you say “Ooh.” That truth I read- sets me free… Free of all the rocks I carry, all the burdens? No. Might just be one rock that I offload. Might be handful of pebbles. But when I pick up that sackful of cares and worries it is a bit lighter. I’ve replaced those cares with something else and my steps are easier.


Or, each time I said ‘no, I’m sorry, but I can’t take on that important xyz job’ because I know it will be too much for me, and will take valuable time away from my family. Ah! 🙂 Another rock offloaded.

A lesson learned. A truth told. Might just be something as simple as: I can’t please everybody. I don’t have to please everybody. Only God. Can’t you just hear those rocks tumbling down the hill out of that sack?

Forgiveness given. To choose to forgive somebody–regardless of whether or not they admit wrong, or say sorry–and let go of that hurt. Forgive not because they deserved it, but because I don’t deserve forgiveness, and yet God forgives me and asks that I do likewise. Ping, thump. There goes another burden from my heart.

We weren’t designed to carry burdens of worry, care and pain. That’s not in God’s original plan for us. Jesus says: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

I think his burden is truth, love, forgiveness. That’s the burden he offers us in return for the heavy load we carry.

Think about it…

John 8:32
Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.

Galatians 5:13
You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature ; rather, serve one another in love.

Hebrews 8:12
For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.

Is your burden heavy today? Heart breaking the things going on in your life? There is a cure. Stop. Yes, right now. Pause for a moment. Rest. Shut your eyes, take a deep breath and enter God’s rest. Trade burdens with Jesus. Hand them over, you don’t need to carry them. They aren’t helping, they are weighing you down. And they aren’t yours. They are lies the devil has convinced you to carry around. Switch your burdens with Jesus.





🙂 Have a great day!