12 Funny Sayings about Authors

Hi! I thought I’d share a few smiles with some funny quotes I found on the internet. Have a great day!

Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure. Oliver Herford.

Writing is learning to say nothing, more cleverly every day. William Allingham.

The profession of book-writing makes horse racing seem like a solid, stable business. John Steinbeck.

I love being a writer. What I can’t stand is the paperwork. Peter De Vries.

Copy from one, it’s plagiarism; copy from two, it’s research. Wilson Mizner.

“Paradise Lost is a book that, once put down, is very hard to pick up again.” Samuel Johnson I had to read this twice, and laughed both times! I’ve never read “Paradise Lost” and am now not sure I should! 🙂

I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top. ~English Professor (Name Unknown), Ohio University

Do not put statements in the negative form.
And don’t start sentences with a conjunction.
If you reread your work, you will find on rereading that a
great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all.
De-accession euphemisms.
If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
Last, but not least, avoid cliches like the plague.
~William Safire, “Great Rules of Writing”

Being an author is being in charge of your own personal insane asylum. ~Terri Guillemets

A story should have a beginning, a middle, and an end… but not necessarily in that order. ~Jean Luc Godard

It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by that time I was too famous. ~Robert Benchley Oh dear! May I never say this!

Publication is a self-invasion of privacy. Marshall McLuhan